I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
