It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize