Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
