You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
