Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
