I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
