why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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