We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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