Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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