if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This baby is an asshole
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize