I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He is an equal opportunity slut.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
