SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize