The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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