Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
