singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize