.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I queefed so loud it echoed.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
