Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
