He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
