As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
