He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Everclear isn't food dammit
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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