FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
