I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
