i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
