Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
