I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
