Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
