So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My feet surprised me
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