if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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