What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
