I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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