I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
