CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
