I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
