I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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