i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
