Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize