My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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