4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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