i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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