the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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