I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Also, beer. Big fan.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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