I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he laminated a picture of his dick.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
