I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
