Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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