the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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