there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
