their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
