We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
vagina is talking i cant
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
