Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
