He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
