Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
