that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
