I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
