I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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