What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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