Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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