The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
and you fell through a lawn chair
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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