Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
