So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
