Having a random hookup so left but love u
how can u be prego again
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize