Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
