just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
