why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I understand Curling. That high.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
