Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I would fuck him just for his dog
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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