there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
