Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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