Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
His nipple licking is glorious
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