so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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