dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
