maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
