Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
