If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Be still, my beating vagina.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
