at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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