shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
